When I was younger, and greener, I found myself embroiled in a few ‘email battles’. The ones where your hands are almost shaking as you type your reply. Each sentence filled with self-righteousness and unwavering confidence, aiming to deliver the final blow. Deep down, there’s a nagging feeling that it’s not the right approach, but pride pushes you forward.
You might read that and think – good for you – if you are in the right, stand your ground. But the reality is that if you find yourself knee deep in such a email exchange, you’ve already lost. Regardless of the argument’s outcome. Worst still is that it can really tarnish your reputation.
The Pitfalls of Email Communication
Email is a fantastic tool, especially for those who prefer written communication. But its text-based nature, lacking tone and nuance, is prone to misinterpretation. A message you perceive as a well-reasoned argument might come across as aggressive or dismissive to the recipient. If one person perceives it that way, others might too. Once they’ve framed you in a negative light, altering that perception becomes challenging.
The Risk of the Unintended Audience
Forwarding an email is effortless, and it often includes the entire conversation thread. A hasty comment made in the heat of the moment can quickly circulate to a wider, and possibly higher-ranking, audience. If you’d hesitate to have the entire company, including the CEO, read your email, it’s best to reconsider sending it. Or at least reword it.
Most senior people (or maybe it’s maturity rather than seniority) view these types of email exchanges poorly. To them, it’s not about who’s right or wrong but about how conflict is managed. Their initial reaction is unlikely to have anything thought to the strength and merits of the arguments being made – it will be on your tone, your inability to resolve a dispute, your apparent tendency to escalate conflicts instead.
You don’t want them to have that view of you as its the opposite of the qualities they value in a team member. The hallmark of a mature professional lies in fostering collaboration and unity, not in proving a point.
A More Constructive Approach
Recognizing when to shift discussions offline is crucial. If an email thread becomes contentious, consider alternative communication methods.
- Pause and Reflect: Allow yourself time to cool down and reassess.
- Focus on the Goal: Concentrate on the original discussion topic, not on winning the argument.
- Propose a Call: Even if it doesn’t resolve the issue, suggesting a call demonstrates maturity and a willingness to find common ground.
- Know When to Step Back: Consider if the issue at hand is truly worth the conflict. Protecting your reputation should always be a priority.
- Choose Collaboration: Always aim to be the bigger person, even if it’s just in your actions. You can still curse them under your breath! It took me longer to learn this lesson than I’d like to admit, but it’s invaluable
As cheesy as it sounds corporate life is not about winning battles but building bridges. Whether facing project challenges or navigating boardroom discussions, the principles remain consistent. So, the next time you’re tempted to engage in an email skirmish, take a moment, breathe, and choose collaboration over confrontation.